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Funny,Right?In a strange way,I'm kind of proud. Two months. Two months of wanting to die,two months of
having to lie,and no one suspects a thing. Two months, 59 days, and a certain amount of
hours, minutes, seconds that I won't bother to puzzle out. Who cares, right? Who cares how
long I've been hurting?
No one, obviously. Maybe it's just me, but I find it rather funny. Really.
Incredibly, insanely funny, the way I go about each day dropping subtle hints, giving
them glimpses of the scars all over my arms, let them catch me inflicting harm, walk in
while I'm curled up in the corner, clawing and biting at my arms like a madwoman. And they
still think I'm perfectly fine. Ha! Funny,right?! Right!?
HazyPlease,just kiss me for a little bit longer
Because every time your lips meet mine,
Every time our fingers interwine
I feel a little stronger
So hold on and don't let go
And just in case you didn't know
I'll whisper softly in your ear
Never leave,I need you here
I love you
Beautiful DisasterHow is it that no amount of sympathy
Or good cheer can help me?
But when he's near,
With his dark,sullen eyes and his bittersweet smile
How is it that I feel better for awhile?
Why can't the endless promises,
The friendly hugs,
The feel-good drugs fix me
And how can he?
He's broken too
It's strange but true
Hearing his voice,I'm falling faster
Into our beautiful disaster
Finding My Way HomeThis isn't living
This is taking each day at a time,trying to hold back tears
Trying not to think of how all my fears
I'm so lost without you
This isn't home
Home is with her,
Her sea-blue eyes and her half crazed laughter
Home are our stories,
With faeries and castles and happily ever after
Back home,there's a girl who means everything
The difference between dying and living
I'm awake,but with her,
It's like I never stop dreaming
Lust,Right?I don't love her.It's lust,nothing but stupid teenage lust I'm feeling right now.
Idiot.You've always loved her,you still do.
Look,see how perfectly you two fit together,with her curled up beside you,your limbs entangled as if you were one person?Admit it.You never stopped loving her.
I did.I did.She was gone for a year and I didn't even think of her once,I've moved on.
Don't even try to lie.Yeah,you've moved on.She isn't everything to you anymore,but she's something,she's your first kiss and the last girl you'll ever allow yourself to love.Don't pretend like you don't want to kiss her right now,right now more than anything you want to feel her lips against yours and her arms around you.
I'm not pretending.I see it,and I know it's just lust,right?
I'm Sorry,MommyI'm sorry that I couldn't be the perfect girl you wanted
I tried so hard to be happy,but just like you I'm haunted
And underneath the laughter and the smiles that I flaunted
I was hurting,Mommy,just like you
I'm sorry I couldn't be strong
How it hurt
I'm sorry I didn't last so long
I feel like dirt
Because I see you trying to act alright,
Act alright for me
And I know it's my fault you and Daddy fight
I'm so sorry,I'll let you be
I'll say I'm okay
Just please wipe your tears away
There's no need to say it
And if you don't want me anymore,
I'll understand,just don't answer the door
And I won't come back again
I'm sorry,and thank you
You were a good friend
(You know...up until the end)
SorryI say I'm sorry I'm falling down
I beg forgiveness as I drown
Holding on for dear life
To the weight,the gun,the blade of the knife
The need for you to love me
Deadly KissShe fell in love with his vicious lips.
Got trapped into his deadly kiss.
She loved to play with dangerous things,
But didn't know how much pain it would bring.
His smile caught her playful eyes,
She didn't know that smile held so many lies.
He was so perfect, in so many ways.
They're love lasted for only a few short days.
Now she lays,
In that casket bed.
She never listened to the warnings, or what we said.
You could see those bite marks on her neck by her veins,
I can't imagine all the emotional pain.
I let her slip right through my fingers,
And now her presence always lingers.
She was playful, sweet, and loving, but now that's all in the past.
She went away and died so fast..
His love was strong but his temptation worse.
Then again he had to live with that horrible curse.
He couldn't help it, and I could see the pain in his face,
And now that sweet girls in a better place..
Sweet DreamsI've been watching you for awhile now.
Every night you sit in that corner
I've tried to approach you so many times,
but someone always stops me.
Every time you try to come near me,
somebody holds you back.
But now you're sitting here all alone;
there's nobody here to stop either of us.
I walk slowly towards you.
You can't see the goblet hidden behind me.
As I come closer,
I can see that your cheeks are stained with black eyeliner;
the backs of your hands have the same fa
natural loveWhen I see you
my heart pounds
like rain in
When we touch
you make me howl
like a wolf at a full moon.
You're the breeze
that scooped me up
and swept me off my feet,
My love for you
is like the ocean
it goes down
When we talk
i lose my words
my mouth turns
parched and dry
like ashes mixed with
specs of sand
that fall from
You pulled me in
and kept me
like shells pulled
by the undertoe,
your eyes twinkle more
than every star in the universe
When we met
you picked me up
off of the ground
like a hurricane
you dropped me and i fell for you
like snow falls
on winter days.
You're a 10 on the richter scale
my personal earthquake
because when im around you
my whole body starts to shake.
You're my end, my sunset
i'll miss you much tonight
i'll wait for you to rise at dawn
just to bask in your sunlight.
Breaking DownHow do you know when there's something wrong?
You want to cut until you feel light,
Drink until your dizzy,
Pop pills to the point of being sick
When you are ready to give up
And just say
"I don't want to live anymore"
Once that's said is there any turning back?
That is I.
Numb, empty, void.
Or at least I think I am...
So many questions.
Only one answer:
"I don't know".
How I feel,
What I think,
Why I'm like this;
I don't know.
Who I am;
I don't know.
Not an answer,
But a release, a feeling?
Pain...or no pain.
One less problem to solve.
Already DeadI wish I would OD.
I'd love to drown in the darkness.
To never come back would be a gift.
I wish I would drown.
I'd love to fall into the despairing pit.
To never be able to be fished out.
I wish I would fall off a cliff.
I'd love to see ground hurtling toward me.
To know everything will break without a scream.
I'd love to make the bullet hurtle through my brain.
I'd love to pull the trigger near my skull.
To feel nothing and to leave my blood stains as a reminder.
I would be dead before the pills fully circulated in my blood.
I would be dead before the water filled my lungs.
I would be dead before I hit the ground.
I would be dead before I pulled the trigger.
Because inside, I am already dead.
NightdanceWe danced like monsters:
lurking shadows atop gravestones,
long-limbed, and hungry.
We were hips and stitched lips.
Clinging widows to a dying mate.
You held my hand, whispering,
S c r e a m
lets wake the dead."
And in the end,
like fallen soldiers.
Her Final PrayerNow I lay me down to rest,
With layers of blood upon my wrist.
I hope I die before I wake,
Because I don't know how much more I can take.
Silly me..I told myself
I wouldn't cry
I wouldn't care
Why am I lying to myself?
It's getting me nowhere
If the true sets us all free
Then why does it lead to greater dispute?
I keep telling myself lies to try to make my life easier
What a silly thing for me to do...
There is no easy way in life
If things happen.. Then I guess there's nothing I can do
Even if those things end up breaking my heart
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A two-time Community Volunteer for the deviantART Related category, Anne is well-known as a positive, helpful force. She is the community's resident expert when it comes to CSS (Cascading Style Sheets), and her personal gallery offers a wide variety of tutorials for new and experienced coders alike. In addition, each winter she hosts a calendar project encouraging members to create Journal designs for all to use, bringing more creativity to the community.
It is with immense gratitude that we acknowledge Anne as the recipient of the Deviousness Award for October 2014. Read More